Don't Stop Believing in Yourself

           One of the greatest social conditions of living in the U.S. in 2013 is that we are free to choose from a seemingly limitless number of directions in which we can steer our lives. Nearly everybody that wants to attend college can do so. You can live in any city you want. You can pick from a number of different career tracks. All of these decisions and many others will have a major impact on your life trajectory and quality of life.   

            No matter what direction you choose your life to go in, you will likely build a network of family, friends, coworkers, and acquaintances through the years. The majority of your network will only have a mild interest in the outcome of your major life decisions, yet many of them will second guess, have doubts about, and even attempt to prognosticate where those decisions will lead you. On the other hand, there will be a few in your network that will be unconditionally supportive and will believe and trust that you are making the right decisions pertaining to you and your life. You may never hear about any of the wide array of opinions unless you see them once in a while or they hear about your upcoming decision through social media or through another contact. Regardless, you should be surrounding yourself with the unconditional cheerleaders more than the doubters and haters.    

            One thing to keep in mind as you listen to others' opinions, you are the world's #1 expert in 'you'. There is not a person on the planet that has been through what you've been through every step of your entire life. There may be a few people that have witnessed much of your life unfold, but there is nobody else with 100% of your life experiences that have shaped your beliefs, habits, and maturity. Based on your incredible level of expertise compared to everybody's else on this one topic, you clearly are in the best position to make major life decisions for yourself. 

            I often tell people that I am running the Nate Crain, LLC (limited liability company) above all else. I am the CEO, president, vice president of running my life. My life interests are more important than my employer's interests. After working 18 months at my first job out of law school, I landed a better job opportunity. Although my first employer was not happy about the move, my personal LLC put its stamp of approval on it.   This is a similar concept to You, Inc.

            Despite the fact that we choose our own life path, there will be adversity along the way. Even if you choose the 'best' alternative for yourself, it won't be all lollipops and rainbows. You may even second guess your choice when you hit the first unforeseeable speed bump along your path. It's usually impossible to know whether your choices were the best ones even in retrospect, since we only get one chance to live our life. Parallel universes don't exist that I know of.

           

         Other decisions you make may turn into huge mistakes. One of my friends got booted out of law school two years into the program. In the short-term, it was miserable for him. In the long-term as he pays back his loans the added knowledge will probably benefit him. It's up to him how his life unfolds from here.

          We are all here to learn and gain experience, so there will be paths you may tread where a U-turn is required. As long as we are willing to concede the mistake and move forward with our lives, it'll be a long-term positive for us. Robert Frost had this to say: "In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life — It goes on"  

            The most important principle in navigating life's course is learning to believe and trust in ourselves. We each have talents, skills, capacity, and wisdom that can be applied in a variety of different realms. I am exposed to new ideas regularly, some of which motivate me to pursue a new path. I don't know the long-term aggregate effect of starting this blog, but it was something that resonated with my spirit to pursue when the I started kicking around the idea. Trying new things should be a part of learning and growing in your life. 

            As David Haight used to say "You must believe in yourself. Don’t give in when the going is rough, for you are laying the foundation of a great work, and that great work is your life.” We must believe that we have some purpose and vision in our future. We can be positioning ourselves now to accomplish big things. It doesn't matter if others don't understand what we are doing.  

            There may be dreams and ambitions that you want to accomplish, but the odds are stacked against you. My teammate in college on my track team is now 38 years old. Last Saturday, he won a college open invitational by high jumping 7'1" against kids half his age. He could have easily stopped pursuing his talent and dream several years ago, but he didn't listen to the detractors that told him that he's too old to compete at such a high level. 

            People are often times uncomfortable with you trying against great odds. Some people would rather see us give up. Perhaps it’s a threat to them to see someone set the bar higher than what their own life philosophy allows. By succeeding, it's an indictment against them for giving up too soon. Don't let the negative thoughts of others sway you into a less rigorous life course. My biggest regrets in life are based on giving up sooner than I should have.

            The story of Felix Carvajal illustrates what believing in yourself can accomplish. In 1904, Felix was a 29 year old mailman living in Cuba. One day as he was delivering newspapers, he read a story about the Olympic Games being held in St. Louis that August. The idea strongly resonated with him to represent Cuba as a runner in those Games.

            Felix, subsequently, made the decision that he would enter the marathon even though he had never run one before. Next, he approached the Cuban Olympic Committee to get permission to represent Cuba. The committee said that he could run on behalf of Cuba, but he’d have to pay his own way. Since he was quite poor, he’d have to raise the money on his own.

            This is where I think it’s safe to conclude that Felix believed in himself. The price of following his dream to represent Cuba at the Olympic Games was to quit his job, raise the money needed to make the trip, train for the marathon to represent Cuba proudly, be courageous enough to go into a foreign country by himself without knowing the language, and basically put his life on hold for several months to go back and forth from Cuba to St. Louis. I can’t imagine the reaction of his network! Most of his network probably thought his chances of failing were pretty high. He’d be competing against the world’s best marathoners and the journey to get there was full of unknown dangers.

            Felix was undeterred at the obstacles that faced him. Now that he had permission to run, he became fully invested in succeeding. He quit his job and started training for the marathon on his own with no coach or team. To raise money, he ran in circles around the town square and asked for donations to represent Cuba. His plan worked. He had collected enough money to hop a ship from Cuba to New Orleans a few months before the race, so off he went.

            As he arrived in New Orleans with very little extra money to get to St. Louis he ended up trying to double his money in a dice game. Unfortunately, he ended up losing it all instead! Having come this far, he wasn’t about to turn back now. The remaining 600 miles to St. Louis he hitchhiked, walked, ran until he finally made it just before race day. He showed up to the starting line wearing wool trousers, a long sleeve dress shirt, and work boots. Here’s a picture of his attire that day:

            When Felix showed up wearing this and coming from a country with no team, the elite runners in the race considered him to be a sideshow. Based on their comments, they had little respect for him. The irony is that the majority of the elite runners ended up dropping out of the race due to the tough race conditions. Felix was there to run his own race and follow his dream despite what the competitors may have been saying or thinking.

          It can’t be understated enough that there were some significant logistical issues with the 1904 St. Louis marathon. The race was run at 2:30 in the afternoon at nearly 100 degrees with near 100% humidity. The course was not closed off to cars, so the exhaust and dust were being inhaled by the runners as they went. Somewhere along the course, some dogs chased a couple runners off the course. One of the runners who would later go on to win the Boston Marathon in 1905 dropped out of the race and tried to hitchhike to the finish line. Unfortunately, that car broke down with about 5 miles before the finish, so he ended up running to the finish line to the cheers of the stadium crowd thinking that he had won. He decided to pretend to win. He was declared the winner, but just before he collected the gold medal he confessed to cheating. 

            Meanwhile Felix just kept on running at his own pace as more than half of the marathoners that started the race didn’t finish due to the immense heat. He had some issues of his own getting cramps while eating some apples during the run, but recovered enough to continue. When all was said and done, Felix finished fourth overall! Because he followed his dream and believed in himself, he became a legend in Cuba and one of the many great stories in Olympic history that will survive the annals of history. Can you imagine if Felix would have listened to the doubters? 

            Most doubters only have a mild interest in the outcome of whether you succeed or fail. So then, why be so emotionally invested over what  other people are saying? By taking it personally, you play right into their hands. By showing apathy towards them and being relentless towards moving forward with your life you become the winner.

            You will always have haters if you are doing anything with your life. The haters may deem you as not good enough to succeed or merely be jealous of your success. They will try and tell everyone who will listen why you will fail. They win if they persuade you to give up all hope. Apathy and success are the best revenge. Tim Ferriss said it this way: “The best revenge is letting haters continue to live with their own resentment and anger, which most of the time has nothing to do with you in particular.”

            Believe in yourself. Don’t let others convince you that they know better than you about your life course and don't give up on your dreams just because others tell you to. It's rightfully your life to choose your own adventure.