Don't Stop Believing in Yourself

           One of the greatest social conditions of living in the U.S. in 2013 is that we are free to choose from a seemingly limitless number of directions in which we can steer our lives. Nearly everybody that wants to attend college can do so. You can live in any city you want. You can pick from a number of different career tracks. All of these decisions and many others will have a major impact on your life trajectory and quality of life.   

            No matter what direction you choose your life to go in, you will likely build a network of family, friends, coworkers, and acquaintances through the years. The majority of your network will only have a mild interest in the outcome of your major life decisions, yet many of them will second guess, have doubts about, and even attempt to prognosticate where those decisions will lead you. On the other hand, there will be a few in your network that will be unconditionally supportive and will believe and trust that you are making the right decisions pertaining to you and your life. You may never hear about any of the wide array of opinions unless you see them once in a while or they hear about your upcoming decision through social media or through another contact. Regardless, you should be surrounding yourself with the unconditional cheerleaders more than the doubters and haters.    

            One thing to keep in mind as you listen to others' opinions, you are the world's #1 expert in 'you'. There is not a person on the planet that has been through what you've been through every step of your entire life. There may be a few people that have witnessed much of your life unfold, but there is nobody else with 100% of your life experiences that have shaped your beliefs, habits, and maturity. Based on your incredible level of expertise compared to everybody's else on this one topic, you clearly are in the best position to make major life decisions for yourself. 

            I often tell people that I am running the Nate Crain, LLC (limited liability company) above all else. I am the CEO, president, vice president of running my life. My life interests are more important than my employer's interests. After working 18 months at my first job out of law school, I landed a better job opportunity. Although my first employer was not happy about the move, my personal LLC put its stamp of approval on it.   This is a similar concept to You, Inc.

            Despite the fact that we choose our own life path, there will be adversity along the way. Even if you choose the 'best' alternative for yourself, it won't be all lollipops and rainbows. You may even second guess your choice when you hit the first unforeseeable speed bump along your path. It's usually impossible to know whether your choices were the best ones even in retrospect, since we only get one chance to live our life. Parallel universes don't exist that I know of.

           

         Other decisions you make may turn into huge mistakes. One of my friends got booted out of law school two years into the program. In the short-term, it was miserable for him. In the long-term as he pays back his loans the added knowledge will probably benefit him. It's up to him how his life unfolds from here.

          We are all here to learn and gain experience, so there will be paths you may tread where a U-turn is required. As long as we are willing to concede the mistake and move forward with our lives, it'll be a long-term positive for us. Robert Frost had this to say: "In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life — It goes on"  

            The most important principle in navigating life's course is learning to believe and trust in ourselves. We each have talents, skills, capacity, and wisdom that can be applied in a variety of different realms. I am exposed to new ideas regularly, some of which motivate me to pursue a new path. I don't know the long-term aggregate effect of starting this blog, but it was something that resonated with my spirit to pursue when the I started kicking around the idea. Trying new things should be a part of learning and growing in your life. 

            As David Haight used to say "You must believe in yourself. Don’t give in when the going is rough, for you are laying the foundation of a great work, and that great work is your life.” We must believe that we have some purpose and vision in our future. We can be positioning ourselves now to accomplish big things. It doesn't matter if others don't understand what we are doing.  

            There may be dreams and ambitions that you want to accomplish, but the odds are stacked against you. My teammate in college on my track team is now 38 years old. Last Saturday, he won a college open invitational by high jumping 7'1" against kids half his age. He could have easily stopped pursuing his talent and dream several years ago, but he didn't listen to the detractors that told him that he's too old to compete at such a high level. 

            People are often times uncomfortable with you trying against great odds. Some people would rather see us give up. Perhaps it’s a threat to them to see someone set the bar higher than what their own life philosophy allows. By succeeding, it's an indictment against them for giving up too soon. Don't let the negative thoughts of others sway you into a less rigorous life course. My biggest regrets in life are based on giving up sooner than I should have.

            The story of Felix Carvajal illustrates what believing in yourself can accomplish. In 1904, Felix was a 29 year old mailman living in Cuba. One day as he was delivering newspapers, he read a story about the Olympic Games being held in St. Louis that August. The idea strongly resonated with him to represent Cuba as a runner in those Games.

            Felix, subsequently, made the decision that he would enter the marathon even though he had never run one before. Next, he approached the Cuban Olympic Committee to get permission to represent Cuba. The committee said that he could run on behalf of Cuba, but he’d have to pay his own way. Since he was quite poor, he’d have to raise the money on his own.

            This is where I think it’s safe to conclude that Felix believed in himself. The price of following his dream to represent Cuba at the Olympic Games was to quit his job, raise the money needed to make the trip, train for the marathon to represent Cuba proudly, be courageous enough to go into a foreign country by himself without knowing the language, and basically put his life on hold for several months to go back and forth from Cuba to St. Louis. I can’t imagine the reaction of his network! Most of his network probably thought his chances of failing were pretty high. He’d be competing against the world’s best marathoners and the journey to get there was full of unknown dangers.

            Felix was undeterred at the obstacles that faced him. Now that he had permission to run, he became fully invested in succeeding. He quit his job and started training for the marathon on his own with no coach or team. To raise money, he ran in circles around the town square and asked for donations to represent Cuba. His plan worked. He had collected enough money to hop a ship from Cuba to New Orleans a few months before the race, so off he went.

            As he arrived in New Orleans with very little extra money to get to St. Louis he ended up trying to double his money in a dice game. Unfortunately, he ended up losing it all instead! Having come this far, he wasn’t about to turn back now. The remaining 600 miles to St. Louis he hitchhiked, walked, ran until he finally made it just before race day. He showed up to the starting line wearing wool trousers, a long sleeve dress shirt, and work boots. Here’s a picture of his attire that day:

            When Felix showed up wearing this and coming from a country with no team, the elite runners in the race considered him to be a sideshow. Based on their comments, they had little respect for him. The irony is that the majority of the elite runners ended up dropping out of the race due to the tough race conditions. Felix was there to run his own race and follow his dream despite what the competitors may have been saying or thinking.

          It can’t be understated enough that there were some significant logistical issues with the 1904 St. Louis marathon. The race was run at 2:30 in the afternoon at nearly 100 degrees with near 100% humidity. The course was not closed off to cars, so the exhaust and dust were being inhaled by the runners as they went. Somewhere along the course, some dogs chased a couple runners off the course. One of the runners who would later go on to win the Boston Marathon in 1905 dropped out of the race and tried to hitchhike to the finish line. Unfortunately, that car broke down with about 5 miles before the finish, so he ended up running to the finish line to the cheers of the stadium crowd thinking that he had won. He decided to pretend to win. He was declared the winner, but just before he collected the gold medal he confessed to cheating. 

            Meanwhile Felix just kept on running at his own pace as more than half of the marathoners that started the race didn’t finish due to the immense heat. He had some issues of his own getting cramps while eating some apples during the run, but recovered enough to continue. When all was said and done, Felix finished fourth overall! Because he followed his dream and believed in himself, he became a legend in Cuba and one of the many great stories in Olympic history that will survive the annals of history. Can you imagine if Felix would have listened to the doubters? 

            Most doubters only have a mild interest in the outcome of whether you succeed or fail. So then, why be so emotionally invested over what  other people are saying? By taking it personally, you play right into their hands. By showing apathy towards them and being relentless towards moving forward with your life you become the winner.

            You will always have haters if you are doing anything with your life. The haters may deem you as not good enough to succeed or merely be jealous of your success. They will try and tell everyone who will listen why you will fail. They win if they persuade you to give up all hope. Apathy and success are the best revenge. Tim Ferriss said it this way: “The best revenge is letting haters continue to live with their own resentment and anger, which most of the time has nothing to do with you in particular.”

            Believe in yourself. Don’t let others convince you that they know better than you about your life course and don't give up on your dreams just because others tell you to. It's rightfully your life to choose your own adventure.   

The Power of Expectations

          When I was 22 years old I was a dedicated runner and wanted to compete in a race. As I was looking for a race, I anticipated going to a nearby city on the 4th of July to visit my siblings. Every year, in that city there is a 10K Freedom run. Since my training runs were always 4 miles and less, I was hesitant to run in a race longer than my training distance. On the advertisement for the race, I noticed that there was a one-mile "fun run" alternative. I had never participated in a fun run, but I thought it would be a good chance to see how fast I could run a mile against some other competitive runners.

            As I approached the starting line for the "fun run" I noticed one key thing. I was surrounded by kids mostly in the age ranges of 6-12! In fact, other than my 18 year old brother who I had persuaded to join the race, we may have been the only adults at the starting line. Not to be dissuaded by the level of competition, I decided to run hard anyway to see how fast I could run a mile.

            The gun went off and the hoards of kids started sprinting. I learned that most kids haven't been schooled on pacing yet, so their over exuberance and adrenaline carried them until their legs got tired always within a quarter mile. I must admit, it took me probably 200 meters to clear the masses and get to the front of the race. My brother who was a 2:01 800 meter runner in high school (although I don't think he was running every day after he graduated) stayed with me along with a 14 year old kid from a local high school. I imagine the scene looked something like this behind me:

            I eventually got ahead of both my brother and the 14 year old. Since the race course was along a parade route, there were people lined up along the street watching me take the "fun run" way too seriously. As I approached the finish line, the only saving grace for the race was that I would be able to determine how fast my mile time was. Little did I know that the organizers weren't keeping track of the time. Consequently, for winning the race I got a participation ribbon meant for the average 10 year old and a wild guess about how fast I ran.

            The point of this story is that expectations and reality don't always align. Even though I had very low expectations of the race, the reality of the race was much different than I expected it to be. I certainly learned the purpose of a fun run: it's a race to enter your kids in, so that they get a small taste of the adult 10K run.

            Not all expectations we create in our minds are based on how events will unfold or predicting the reality of going to an unknown place. However, our minds often work in future tense in predicting outcomes. The less we know, the more divergent our expectations may be to reality.

Selling Yourself and Building Expectations

            In the course of your life, you will need to sell yourself to get into colleges, get jobs, and into dating relationships. You essentially try to set the bar for what can be expected of you in the future. If your presentation allows the school, employer or your dating interest to conclude that you will most likely meet or exceed their expectations you have a better chance to be accepted. If your presentation allows them to conclude that you fall below their expectations, then you will get rejected.

            The criteria for acceptance are different for colleges, jobs, and dating interests. For colleges, they are judging your track record in academics and test taking ability primarily and then other secondary factors. If the college asks you to present yourself, it likely means that you are a borderline candidate as your academic track record didn't merit an automatic acceptance based on their applicant pool. Nonetheless, colleges may ask for an essay stating why you are a good candidate to succeed, so selling yourself is often a pre-requisite of acceptance.

            Similarly, in a job interview you must already have enough qualifications on your resume for the employer to ask for more. The interview then allows you to raise the expectations sufficiently to get them to believe that you can fulfill the role you are applying for. In a word, you are a salesman. If the pitch is too strong or exaggerated it may lead to a short term win, but once your "real" traits or skills are revealed, you won't last much longer.

            An interview is a two way street. You may be attracted to the company based on over hyped benefits of working for the company. Particularly if you have multiple job offers, an employer will have to raise your expectations enough to commit to that company. If reality ends up being much lower than your built up expectations, you are more likely to move on quicker. Over promising and then under-delivering is not a formula for success in the business world and for the matter in any realm.

            In dating, it gets much more complicated. Getting a date means a lot of different things to a lot of different people. Since you probably will end up on dates with people you know little to nothing about, it may not matter whether you sell yourself as an ideal candidate if you don't measure up to your dating interest's expectations in areas that are never revealed to you. At the same time, you don't want to build up a facade about what you have to offer. You also can't be so humble that don't reveal anything of value that your date can latch onto that separates you from other dating candidates.

          I’ve learned that some people have strange ideas about who they want to date and marry. Some people only date a certain hair color, a certain limited age range, only people willing to settle down near their family, only doctors or dentists, only people of a certain height or someone with a certain body type. Very few people will reveal the exact criteria of what they want. It’s everybody’s prerogative to hold out for what they want even if their criteria are unrealistic. It’s possible they’ll eventually find their match or they’ll end up on the lonely road of being single never finding their perfect match. It’s not our business to judge.

Setting Expectations in Others

            I will provide the caveat before you read this section that I don't have any children. However, I believe that it's important to build up children through labeling and having high expectations for what they are striving for. Kids generally try to live up or down to expectations. Labeling a kid as a hard worker, for example, will become a part of their self-identity if they get positive attention for living up to it. On the other hand, if you call them rebellious they are likely to conform to that label.

            Of course, you don't want to feed children false feedback, as they might grow up with a deluded view of reality. For example, you don't want to tell them that they are great at basketball when they are absolutely terrible. Eventually the bubble will burst and their level of trust in you may deteriorate.

            Does having high expectations work in adults? It does sometimes in the workforce. If as a manager you provide clear and concise feedback on how well your employee is meeting high expectations, you might see them work harder to stay in line with expectations. If you set the bar much lower, you may see the work ethic of the employee drop to be in alignment with lower expectations.   

            In relationships with friends and dating, expectations are often kept silent about what you want from the relationship. I imagine that the bar is much lower to include someone as a friend versus choosing someone you want to date. After all, dating is a one at a time endeavor for most of us.

            Every relationship is actually two relationships, how you expect the person to behave and how they behave in reality. It can be problematic if you never state your expectations, but somehow expect the person to come into alignment with them. To save you some heartache, state your expectations to your significant other or expect "reality" to be less than the standard you have in your mind. It's common sense. 

Getting Spoiled and its Effect on Expectations

            It can be a major psychological advantage to come from a lower socioeconomic class. You get used to life not having material things. Your expectations have been lowered sufficiently that even small things are appreciated. This is a good thing.

            I've already seen two of the world's best waterfalls (Victoria Falls and Iguazu Falls). I was in awe and impressed with the scenery in both instances. The downside to seeing the two best waterfalls in that other really grand waterfalls that I would normally be awestruck by are no longer as special. Fortunately, there are things in the world to see besides waterfalls. Here's a picture I took of Iguazu Falls last year:

            I know someone who dated someone "out of their league" as the first person they ever dated. After the relationship ended, it was challenging psychologically to accept anyone not as great as that first person. The bar had been set and expectations had become unrealistic about who that person could attract. There is applicability in a lot of realms where you've already seen the gold standard on day one.

Self-Expectation

            If it's important to hold others to high expectations, it's infinitely more important to hold yourself to even higher expectations. If you want to be the best, you have to sacrifice and work hard and smart to become the best. As David O' McKay would say "Find a purpose in life so big it will challenge every capacity to be at your best."

            It isn't enough to coast along and just do the minimum to appease your obligators. You need to challenge yourself consistently to have a chance at reaching your potential. We each have a lot of unused capacity that could be used to accomplish great things if we exert enough effort. "It's a funny thing about life. . .If you refuse to accept anything but the best, you very often get it." --W. Somerset Maugham

            Even if we don't reach becoming the best, we'll be better than we were if we hadn't exerted effort to start on the journey. Life is too short to waste time and to settle for mediocrity. Whatever your expectations are for yourself, they will probably have a significant impact on where you end up in the future. 

What is your real life risk tolerance?

           Even though a risk tolerance discussion usually belongs in the investment/retirement portfolio realm, it can be just as applicable in thinking through major life decisions. Some of the most important decisions we are going to make may require a risk assessment. Philosophically, will you lean towards risk aversion or a willingness to absorb risks? Some such decisions are: 1) what your priorities are, 2) which career path to follow, 3) whether to go to and which college to attend, 4) who to date and marry, 5) who to make friends with, and 6) where to settle down. 

            Some of these major life decisions are probably easier than others to decide based on what your parents taught you growing up i.e. it may be ingrained into your value system. Other decisions will probably require doing a lot of homework on your part and agonizing over what to do. Even with thorough due diligence, your decision could still lead to a bad outcome. Similarly, you may end up making a decision haphazardly that somehow leads to a great outcome. The outcomes of taking risks are sometimes unpredictable no matter the amount of precautions you take. 

                Buying a foreclosed house 2 years ago as a single guy working in the bay area was somewhat of a risk on my part, as there were plenty of rental options available that made good economic sense. Nonetheless, after running a rent vs. buy analysis on excel I became comfortable with the economic risks.    Economics weren't the only risk assessment. I had to consider the commuting time risk, the social life risks, and the overall priority shuffling. I also thought about the worst case scenario. In Donald Trump's biography “The Art of the Deal” he stated the following:

“I always go into the deal anticipating the worst. If you plan for the worst – if you can live with the worst – then the good will always take care of itself… You don’t act on an impulse...unless you’ve considered the downside.”

          While that quote is especially applicable in real estate, it can also apply to how we make big decisions in our lives.  In thinking through the consequences of the choices you are making for your career, social life, romantic relationships or whatever else may be on your mind, it’s natural to place emphasis on the likely outcome or the most favorable outcome. Of course, in real life, the outcome of our choices can fall anywhere on the spectrum of worst case scenario to best case scenario. Most outcomes probably fall in the middle ground. There are always things you can do to increase your odds of a more favorable outcome such as really doing your homework.

            Even after doing your homework, it’s not always a no-brainer to decide when to take risks and when to play it safe in making major life decisions. However, it’s much easier to make those decisions when you have a methodology to weigh the risks against the potential rewards. Alternatively, you could take a trial and error approach to life just randomly taking risks when you feel so inclined without weighing the risks thoroughly. Since we only get one shot at life, it may behoove each of us to step away from spinning the wheel on the Price is Right to determine the right path for us.

            In weighing the risks of any decision, you'll need to do determine what your risk tolerance is. Are you willing to take risks akin to gambling or are you a "play it safe" advocate towards major life decisions? Here's an example of having a high risk tolerance:

            A friend of mine in his mid 30s I met in Palo Alto several years ago was interested in finding a wife. He dated frequently, but wasn't finding success in attracting the right fit in the bay area. Eventually, he supplemented his dating efforts with online dating. Since Tim is a Mormon, he tried an online dating site specifically for Mormons.         

            Simultaneous to Tim trying his hand at online dating, there was a non-Mormon woman named Sarita working as a nanny in Qatar. She was originally from Nepal, but had found a job with an American Mormon family living in Qatar. The details aren't known to me why she signed up for the same dating site as Tim. Since Tim had a high risk tolerance approach to dating, he was not afraid to expand his search to overseas options even in countries he had never even visited.

            You can guess that Tim eventually contacted Sarita. They began skyping nearly every day until the day that Tim proposed on skype. They then were engaged to be married in Kathmandu in December 2010. Sarita was baptized a member of the Mormon church. Tim flew to Nepal one day before the wedding and then followed through and got married the next day. Tim decided to stay in Nepal while they worked through the visa issues. About 5 months after they were married, I visited Tim and Sarita living in Kathmandu:

            It has now been more than 2 years since the time they were first married and are still going strong. Had you given me the circumstances of their courtship without knowing Tim, I would have given it little chance at success. The reason that it works for Tim is because he has the right mindset to make it work. He has believed for some time that "love is a choice." That's why he could get away with a much higher risk tolerance than most people. The decision worked for Tim and his life. The story of their courtship was the basis of a documentary called "Love Hacking" directed by Stanford graduate Jenni Nelson.  

            There are plenty of us that won't go to the same extremes as Tim in such an important life decision, but it doesn't make sense to be on the other side of the spectrum either. I’ve met many people over the years who would rather stay in their comfort zones than take any risks at all. They apply the "playing it safe" philosophy to finances, pursuing their goals, dating and anything else that gives us the opportunity to take risks all in the name of predictability.

            To find success in most realms, you have to put yourself out there and subject yourself to potential negative feedback, outright rejection, and failure. The people that persevere and continue trying despite the risks are the ones who end up the happiest and most successful. I'm glad that I was raised to be a 'tryer' even if the odds are stacked against me.

             There is no better time than while you are young to take risks. If you lose your life savings, you have the rest of your life to recover. If you get rejected in dating, you can move on to a different opportunity that's a better fit for you. If you get injured playing sports, you will recover physically. The mindset we need to have summed up by this statement:

           

So fail. Be bad at things. Be embarrassed. Be afraid. Be vulnerable. Go out on a limb or two or twelve, and you will fall and it’ll hurt. But the harder you fall, the farther you will  rise. The louder you fail, the clearer your future becomes. Failure is a gift, welcome it...

            It doesn't make sense to "play it safe" in most instances. Take a few calculated risks and you'll probably fail a lot of the time, but at least you'll learn from your failures and move forward with more maturity, wisdom, and experience. In some instances, you might actually find success that could not have been achieved without the initial risk to have tried. 

               If when you get old, you legitimately can say that you didn't have a viable chance to succeed at your goal then that's OK. However, if your entire life consisted of "playing it safe" or making excuses to not try or giving merely a half-hearted effort, then you will probably have regrets about not attempting a fully invested try. The choice is yours and nobody else's how your life will evolve and which realms you choose to take risks in. Determining your risk tolerance now will make your major life decisions a lot easier to navigate. 

4 keys to preparing for an "unknown" future

             None of us knows what’s going to happen today, tomorrow, a week from now, and especially not 20 years from now! Life rarely happens exactly as planned. Twenty years ago, I had never heard the words “renewable energy” uttered together, which is now my current career industry for the last 6 years. The world changes every day. We need to keep up or we will miss out on opportunities that were within our grasp. 

Getting into the renewable energy industry was an unforeseeable opportunity. Even during my 3rd year of law school, the industry was not on my radar in the slightest. However, there were at least four factors why it worked for me. I was: 1) able to recognize the opportunity to jump into a fast growing industry, 2) qualified for the job openings that became available, 3) open minded about a career path that wasn't initially a consideration and 4) mobile enough to move to California from Colorado. If any one of the four factors failed, I would be doing something vastly different today.  

            The average worker today stays at each of his or her jobs for only 4.4 years, so for the "average" worker there will probably be some switching industries along the way. Some industries are cyclical and others are contracting. If you find yourself in one of those, you may be on the move more often than you'd prefer. Welcome to the 21st century job market.

           If the future is unforeseeable and 'unknown," how do you prepare for it? It's impossible to predict the specifics of our lives several years from now. We evolve as persons, the world around us changes, there are both unforeseeable opportunities and setbacks that impact us. In short, without a time machine you'll be left guessing how your life will evolve no matter how meticulous you are at planning the details.

            How can you fully live in the present without it impacting your future? If you truly lived in the present, you'd have no problem spending every dime you have now and you'd have no problem doing whatever you wanted to maximize the now. You'd have no problem shirking future consequences for the here and now.

            On the other hand, if you truly were only concerned about the future and not about the now, you'd sacrifice everything now to maximize your future comfort. You could forego paying rent by living in a van down by the river with Matt Foley or go find a place to pitch a tent. Since many of us live in high cost of living areas and have a strong desire to dispose of student loans quickly, the thought of how to avoid paying rent has probably crossed your mind. It has mine;)

            For those not familiar with Matt Foley, click on the hulu link for a video of his motivational tactics:

http://www.hulu.com/watch/4183

I have identified 4 keys to making the future "unknown" into a success

1) Don't mortgage your future based on fleeting rewards

            There is a balancing act between living in the present and preparing for the future. If you lean too heavily on either one, you'll end up mortgaging your future to live the high life in the present or hate life in the present to ensure that your future is posh. At some point, you'll need to find the happy medium where your present and future are both bright based on your circumstances.

            The temptation will come from time to time to be short-sighted and live it up in the present with little aforethought for future consequences. Making big decisions that impact your future should be made after doing careful due diligence. To determine whether what you are doing is foolish, apply the "Would an idiot do that?" rule. If you answer the question in the affirmative, then don't do that thing you were considering. Here's a video of Dwight Schrute explaining the rule:

In case you can't think of anything where the "Would an idiot do that?" rule would apply, here's are a few rules of thumb:

            i) Don't get married after one date or too fast - Take the time to get to know the person you commit the rest of your life to. You'll thank me later.

            ii) Don't do anything where the foreseeable result is jail time - Here's a website dedicated to the stupid criminals of the world. Before you commit to a life of crime, think about where it might lead. http://www.truecrimereport.com/stupid_crime/

            iii) Don't do anything that risks your life and limbs - I've known several people who are avid rock climbers with the occasional free climb at heights that would cause significant injury or death. The rule applies strongly to those situations you are risking your life as a foreseeable outcome of a mistake.

            iv) Don't gamble away your life savings or max out your credit cards on a whim - When you get your student loan money at the beginning of the semester, it may be tempting to take it all to Vegas and try and double it. The more likely result is that you'll lose it all and have to max out your credit cards to survive.

            With regard to finances, excessive debt can make you a slave to work in the future. It will be much harder to pursue your dreams when you have compound interest hanging over your head. If you can't afford something, don't buy it. Too many people I know have bought houses and cars without applying the "would an idiot do that?" rule. Here's a link to a general overview of a good financial philosophy:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QzE76nUSjL8

            The basic rule of thumb is don't throw away your life and future opportunities based on a fleeting moment of weakness or just being really short-sighted. Think about your future before taking a wrecking ball to your life. You will make mistakes and you will fail, but those mistakes and failures should not have life changing consequences attached to them.

2) Improvise as opportunities come your way - One of my favorite things to do in my free time is to listen to college commencement speeches. The reason for my fascination is that commencement speakers almost always bring their “A” material. If you only had one piece of wisdom that you could share with the world, I imagine that you would use it to inspire thousands of young people in a commencement speech if given the opportunity.

               Two of my favorite commencement speeches I’ve listened are: Conan O'Brien's Dartmouth speech and Stephen Colbert's Northwestern speech. I was a little bit amazed that they both gave similar advice to their audiences. Stephen Colbert offered this up:

"Dreams can change. If you don't achieve your dream, you are not a loser. Life is an improvisation. You have no idea what is going to happen next."

Conan offered this up:

I abandoned all preconceived notions of my career path and stature…Your path at 22 will not necessarily be your path at 32 or 42. One’s dream is constantly evolving, rising and falling, changing course…It is our failure to become our perceived ideal that ultimately defines us and makes us unique. It’s not easy, but if you accept your misfortune and handle it right, your perceived failure can become a catalyst for profound reinvention…Don’t be afraid to fail. Whether you fear it or not, disappointment will come. The beauty is that through disappointment you can gain clarity. With clarity comes conviction and true originality…What you think your dream is now, it will probably change…”

            What Conan and Colbert both seem to be advocating is that through your efforts to follow your dream, you are probably going to land someplace different than you expected based on the changing opportunities of the world. If your definition of "success" is fluid rather than rigid and you are willing to improvise, you might end up being extremely successful and happy living a reinvented dream. Your failures can provide the catalyst to move forward in a different direction that can lead to greater opportunities.  

           

3) Take a big picture approach to working towards goals with optimism - When we start down any path for any new endeavor, we don't know the final outcome of whether we'll succeed or fail. It's the risk we take in trying new things. To have any chance at success, we have to internally believe that we will succeed despite the odds against us. It's going to be hard to motivate yourself every day if you don't believe that you'll achieve success.

            It can't be ignored that we are going to fail at some things we try in life. There could be an unforeseeable setback that hinders us from accomplishing our goals. We may decide that other goals require higher priority efforts than the endeavor you initially wanted to succeed at. We may not be good enough despite our best efforts. There are a myriad of reasons why we fail. Sometimes we need to recognize that a failure in our specific area does not mean we are going to fail at living a successful life. The personal growth and wisdom gained from failures often help us with future endeavors.

            Jon Hunstman Sr said this a couple years ago: "...we must each remember that God did not put us on this earth to fail. We are His children. We are here to succeed..." We should work through temporary setbacks with that in mind.  

            I also like what former President of Stanford Larry W. Gibbons noted on the topic:

Some of you worry about your ability to handle future challenges that you see on the horizon and this makes some of you fearful…We don't know for sure what is around the corner. Uncertainty is indeed part of the fabric of life…there is no free agency without risk…there can be no true growth without risk. The uncertainty is necessary; it's part of the plan. We can't keep both feet on the ground and move forward

            We can spend hours every day stressing out about future challenges. The burden on us can sometimes get heavier with each passing year. Nonetheless, we need challenges to continue to grow. When you get to a point in life where there isn't a clear path, you may have to take a leap of faith and step into the darkness. That's when the true growth begins. 

4) Invest heavily in your future while you are young - There are a myriad of reasons why you should invest in your future in your youth. As a general rule of thumb, life gets more complicated as you get older. Take ownership of your future by investing heavily in it. Get as much education as you can afford and learn as many job skills as you can. Manage your time wisely. This investment phase will build a foundation for the rest of your life.

            There are numerous investment opportunities that you may hear about from time to time. You'll need the capacity to evaluate the opportunity, be in a position to invest, and have thought through your level of risk tolerance. By making sound investments, you may be able to cut off several years of labor in the workforce. I've had to pass on numerous investment opportunities in college due to being broke or close to it. Now that I'm in the workforce, it's my goal to always have savings in case there is an investment opportunity that arises that meets my criteria.

Final word

            We live in an amazing time in the history of the world. Even though the future is unknown for each of us, we have significant influence on how it evolves. The opportunities are limitless for those individuals who position themselves to take advantage. Become the master of your fate.