What we do know is that we don't know

During my recent trip to Chile and Argentina traveling by myself, I thought a lot about the unpredictability of life. Ten years ago today I was in my first semester of my second year of law school in Florida studying for finals. Lots of events have happened between then and now both good and bad that have impacted where I am today. 

 

My natural tendency is to react to events in terms of short-term implications, because long-term implications are impossible to determine. One of the decisions I made in 2006 after finishing law school was to move to Denver to attend the University of Denver and its Master's in Real Estate program. The short-term implication of that decision was to forego taking the Florida bar exam and leaving the state of Florida where job opportunities had the highest probability of coming to fruition based on the alumni network of the law school. I will never know the opportunity cost of leaving. There are a myriad of possible outcomes if I had stayed. At the end of the day, I did a cost-benefit analysis and then lived with my choice.

The program I matriculated into was highly beneficial from an educational standpoint, but there were no guarantees what job opportunities would await me upon graduation. Education these days is very expensive. It was somewhat nerve wracking not knowing if my risk and investment would lead to bigger and better things.

 

After finishing 50% of my classes at the University of Denver, I applied, interviewed, and received an offer to work for a renewable energy company in the bay area. The salary was a little low, but I was confident that it was a fast growing industry that would allow for advancement. The offer and acceptance allowed me to finish another quarter of the program, which would allow me to finish my final classes from a distance. I was with that company for 17 months or so before I moved on to my current company. 

 

Most of the bigger events in my life like switching jobs, choosing an educational track, going through periods of physical injuries and then good health, moving away or deciding to stay and other events are complete unknowns about long-term impact on our futures.

I found the following story on a message board online, which I think illustrates this theme that life events aren't always the catalyst for a downward or upward trajectory that we predict them to be. 

 

Once upon a time In 14th Century China, during the rule of the Ming Dynasty, there lived an old Farmer. The farmer was a poor man. The farmer had a son, and he owned a horse. That was all. His hut was owned by the Lord of the province, and the farmer used his Horse and his son to work the land. The farmer labored for the lord of the land, and in return was provided with food and a home.

One day after a hard day’s labor, the farmer's son forgot to close the corral and the farmer’s only horse broke out and ran away.

The villagers, upon hearing of the horse running away, came to the farmer's house to view the corral. As they stood there, the villagers said,

"We are so sorry for you. This is such bad luck!”

 

The farmer replied, "Well I don’t know if it’s bad. Maybe it is. Maybe it isn’t. I just don’t know."

The villagers thought this was odd, but left the farmer to it, and returned to their tasks. About a week later, the horse returned, bringing with it a whole herd of wild horses, which the farmer and his son quickly corralled.

 

The Villagers, upon hearing of the corralling of the horses, came to see for themselves. As they stood there looking at the corral filled with horses, the Villagers said,

"We are so pleased for you. This is such good luck!”

The farmer replied, "Well I don’t know if it’s good. Maybe it is. Maybe it isn’t. I just don’t know."

The villagers thought this was odd, but again left the farmer to it, and returned to their tasks. A couple of weeks later, the farmer's son's legs were badly broken when he was thrown from one of the wild horses he was trying to break.

The villagers, upon all hearing of the incident, came to see the son. As they stood there, the villagers said,

"We are so sorry for you. This is such bad luck!”

The farmer replied, "Well I don’t know if it’s bad. Maybe it is. Maybe it isn’t. I just don’t know."

The villagers thought this was odd, but again left the farmer to it, and returned to their tasks.

At that same time in China, a war broke out between two rival Lords. In need of more soldiers, the Lord of the land rode down into the valley to conscript all the young men to go off and fight in the war, a war which none of them would survive. When the Lord came to take the farmer's son, he found the young man with 2 broken legs. Knowing there was no way the son could fight, the Lord of the land left him there.

It was at this moment that the little old farmer realized, that the greatest thing he could EVER know, was that…

HE DIDN’T KNOW…

 

I like this story a lot. It illustrates the fact that uncertainty is a part of our future going forward. We have to take the good with the bad and understand that not everything is in our control. It also illustrates the point that 3rd party onlookers actually know even less about the implications of events in our lives and their input should, therefore, not be valued very highly. Even if we don't know what comes next, we can still take calculated risks and then live with the long-term outcome. Sometimes, the outcome will be good and sometimes not as good. That's life. 

The Paradox of Choice: beneficial or detrimental?

         One of my facebook friends recently posted an inspiring article on her wall called Why Some People Change Their Lives But Others Stay Stuck. The premise of the article is that some people stay stuck in lives they're unhappy with while others make wholesale changes to try and find a more desirable trajectory. The article also had a lot of parallels to the book the Paradox of Choice: Why More if Less, which I recently read.

        To summarize what I learned from these two sources, the upside of having so many choices is that we live in a time and place chalk full of opportunities to build the foundation of the life that can be closely in line with our dreams. You can basically live anywhere you want, trudge down whatever career path appeals to you, choose who to date and/or marry even from afar (or stay single), and live a life according to your priorities. The world is literally our campus to enjoy and the ideas and expertise of the world carried around in our pockets.

         Sounds amazing, right? With all this power and influence to impact our destinies at our fingertips, why is depression at an all-time high and why are people unhappy? It should be the opposite based on the freedoms and choices we have today.
        The answer to the above question is complicated. First, our expectations have been raised to unreasonable levels. Second, we are all human. Many people simply botch their major life choices. The botched choices could either be a result of picking a poor alternative that wasn't well thought out or not knowing what they want. Finally, analyzing a myriad of options can be an overwhelming process to reach a decision.        

         In particular, many twenty somethings end up at a crossroads suffering from a quarter-life crisis not knowing what to do to transition from adolescence to adulthood. A common scenario is they graduate college with an unmarketable degree and then move back in with their parents not knowing what to do next or work at an entry level job until another opportunity presents itself. This indecisive approach leads nowhere slowly and essentially squanders a lot of potentially robust skill development and resume building years.

        Of course, the alternative to doing nothing is to just pick a path with an imperfect filtering down process. However, it's hard to reap the benefits of hard work, dedication, and perseverance if your heart was never into the path in the first place. What compounds the issue is that with so many options on the table, there is no way to really compare and contrast all of them without an exhaustive effort. Although we live in an information age where there is almost an unlimited amount of information about nearly any specific path, we need to have a methodology for narrowing down what interests you. Is it money, prestige, quality of life, subject matter or some other factor that motivates you? Honing in on what you want out of your career can narrow things down in a hurry.

       Unfortunately, there will always be doubt about whether the choice you made was indeed the best one for you. You only have one life to live, so you can only start down the path you choose and hope for the best. At some point, if you find yourself burned out or unhappy you can always make adjustments and take some bigger risks to find a new trajectory.

        Even education and experience not directly related to your prime career earning years will eventually help in other aspects of life and can be built on for future career opportunities. In other words, you don't have to find a perfect fit necessarily in your 20s and 30s. The puzzle pieces will come together in due course as long as you are building new skills and exerting effort into learning new things. God truly doesn't care what profession we choose for ourselves in most cases, so there's no reason to place a heavy burden in trying to find a perfect job.

        Psychologically speaking, knowing that there are other options we left on the table we'll never know what "could have" been. We might kick ourselves for choosing a less appealing alternative or we may abort a perfectly good option midway in our career in the hopes that the grass is greener elsewhere. The dirty little secret about choices is that there is a never a perfect option. There are always flaws and tradeoffs no matter what career or path we choose.  

         Some people see taking ownership of their life trajectories as a burden, but I see it as a huge opportunity! It is up to you and nobody else how your life evolves, which can be a huge boon if you are methodical and ambitious about your decision making. Even though we can't blame anyone else for our failures, the career path we entered, the location or house we live in, or even the person we choose as a significant other (or the choice to be alone), I'd rather have that than be conscripted into subpar circumstances. All of the important stuff we have the power to choose from a vast array of options, which should be a good thing if you value freedom.

        There are some decisions we make that having too many choices can hinder our happiness sticking with what we have already decided on. In marriage, we should be committed to our spouse and realize that some choices are permanent except in extenuating circumstances (abuse, infidelity, etc.). Even if more appealing options come along, we need to understand the value of being with the same person and the inherent value of sharing a long personal history together. I've never been married, but it's always bothered me that some people look around at other options besides their spouse because they can in a discrete way. 

        Choices don't have to be major life decisions. It could be which priorities we focus on and the sum total of all of our daily decisions. By way of example, we can spend some of our free time watching tv or wander into the gym for a workout. We'll eventually reap the benefits or detriments of the habits that we choose to emphasize.

        If you are unhappy with your choices, then find a catalyst for change like the woman in the article I mentioned in the first paragraph. We don't need a traumatic event like hers to make major changes in our lives. We just need to wake up feeling resolved that making a u-turn or tweaking our circumstances will lead to happier days ahead. We have more control than we think and we often underestimate our abilities, but we'll never know unless we pick a path and be fully invested by sprinting down it.      

Pushing past your comfort zone

         One of the principles that I've been thinking about a lot lately is the "law of adaptation" as it relates to my comfort zone. What it basically means is that as I push myself further than I ever have before, I will either physically or psychologically adapt to the new limit. The new limit then becomes part of my comfort zone, since I'll feel at ease and without stress having done it before.

         Why is this principle important? There are great psychological benefits to be reaped from going further than you thought possible. For the rest of your life, you will know that being stretched that far is within your range and capacity.

         One of my favorite tv shows is the Biggest Loser. It's inspiring to watch people who don't know what they're capable of push past their psychological and perceived physical limitations to make changes in their lives. They don't just get out of their comfort zones, they basically wrestle it to the ground and make it yell uncle. Even the ones that don't win learn an important principle that we don't have to accept ourselves as-is if we are willing to pay the price of change.

        Our "normal" is often dictated by how challenging of circumstances we have had in the past. If you've lived in a tent before, you probably don't mind living in a 700 square foot apartment. On the other hand, if you've lived in a mansion your whole life you may be miserable in an apartment. As we throw ourselves into new circumstances that stretch our limits, our comfort zones become larger and larger. Our "normal" will then encompass so much that we'll feel at ease even if we are in circumstances that most people would feel stressed out in.

        Many of my friends and some of my family members have several children. In fact, my oldest sister has five! Even though I have 7 siblings, I imagine that my comfort zone around children is much different than hers. That's her normal. She has been pushed far greater than I have in this arena and her psychological state reflects being at ease even with the chaos created by children around her. Hopefully, she doesn't view the challenge of having kids the same as Jim Gaffigan in this video:

          One of the benefits of going to college for 9 years was that it exposed me to quite a bit of subject matter that I never would have studied otherwise. It was always surprising to me what subjects interested me and what subjects were deemed way too dry to stimulate my mind. I never would have thought that U.S. tax law would be an interesting subject!

        Most of my friends know that real estate is my biggest area of interest. However, I hadn't owned any real estate up until 2011 when I bought my first house. Even today with all my real estate related education, I still haven't filed taxes on an investment property or have tried being a landlord. To accomplish my goals, I need to experience those things and maybe even make some mistakes along the way.  As I do that for a year or two, I'll learn if my theoretical direction merits heavier investment or scaling back and liquidating.

         To this end, if you want to succeed in the business realm you have to dip your feet into the water to gain experience before jumping into the deep end. By jumping in head first without knowing the details cold, you might set yourself back financially with higher risk business ventures. For me, having this build up and expansion of my comfort zone makes my risks much more calculated than the alternative of taking blind risks that may lead to disastrous consequences. 

       The law of adaptation has really been a helpful principle to understand on my journey. It has helped me improve on many of my weaknesses and to move forward with goals that weren't necessarily supposed to be up my alley. Adaptation means that an element of self-creation can open up a whole realm of possibilities that I never thought possible.  

Top 5 destinations for world travel beginners

                This blog post is dedicated to those readers who have never left the United States. Where should you go? These are the trips I’d recommend the highest.

 

 

1)      Alberta, Canada – Canada is a perfect dip your toes in the water destination. I tell anyone who will listen that the benefits far outweigh the costs of visiting such lovely places as Banff and Jasper National Parks where you’ll find Lake Louise, Lake Moraine, and Peyto Lake (see pics below). English is the primary language, so no language issues to deal with. The flight is short and cheap into Calgary from most western cities. You can usually get away with not changing any money if you have a debit/credit card. You’ll obviously need a passport, but that’s the whole point of this post to persuade you to get one. For the most part, there is very little downside to making Canada your first international trip.

Caveat: Go only in the summer, otherwise you may run into snow and ice. June 15-September 15.

 

 

 

 

2)      Switzerland & Italy – Both of these countries got my top scores for European destinations. If you can only visit 2 countries in Europe, these are the two that offer the most things to do plus incredible scenery. You can usually get by with zero foreign language skills. These countries are very safe and friendly to tourism. Renting a car or using public transportation are both feasible. You won’t run out of things to do in cities like Rome, Venice, Pisa, or in Grindelwald, Interlaken, etc.

Caveat: Don’t go in the winter months, as the roads in the Alps close and the views aren’t quite as spectacular with less chance of sunny weather. Of course, if skiing is your primary purpose, then do the opposite

 

 

 

 

3)  French Polynesia – My next recommended destination is the French Polynesia, specifically Bora Bora and Moorea. These are two beautiful islands that are normally earmarked for honeymooners. This means that you’ll spend 90% of your time in or near the water, but it’s ok because the water colors are pretty awesome! There are also scenic viewpoints on both islands worth visiting. Even though French is the native language, you’ll get by just fine with English.

Caveat – Hotels are not cheap, especially over the water. You’ll want to stay a couple hundred feet inland to save big money. Winter airfare prices are much lower. In fact, package deals can be had on normally very expensive hotels.

 

 

4)   Peru – As representation of South America, it was a tossup between Peru and Brazil. Peru has Machu Picchu, which trumps Rio de Janeiro and Iguazu Falls. Peru is also much cheaper than Brazil. You won’t need to spend too much for hotels, transportation, etc. in Peru. Even outside the Machu Picchu area, the Sacred Valley is very scenic and worthwhile. 

      Caveat – Visiting Lake Titicaca was overrated in my view. I’d rather visit the Amazon jungle than spend time at Lake Titicaca. There are altitude issues in Peru for most of the touristy areas, so you’ll have to get adjusted. Language can be a real barrier if you don’t know Spanish.

 

5)    UAE – The surprising thing about Dubai and Abu Dhabi is that it’s cheap to fly there and it’s cheap to stay there. Airline tickets can easily be had for under $1K. Decent hotel rooms can be had for ~$50/night, because of the massive over supply of rooms. Most of the sites worth seeing are either in malls (indoor ski hill, aquariums, etc.) or just in the architecture of the city. The tallest building in the world is here. There are 7 star and underwater hotels. It's a super fascinating place. 

Caveat – You only need ~3 days to see Dubai and Abu Dhabi, although there are other things to do with more time like go play in the sand dunes. Since the flight is very long, you may want to consider a second destination to make it worth the trip. Only go in the winter months. The rest of the year is extremely hot and humid.

 

 

 

 

Honorable mentions:

 

     South Africa – Picking a place in Africa was challenging, but Cape Town was definitely my favorite city in my 4 trips to Africa. Egypt and Tanzania also have a lot to offer, but would not recommend Egypt without a group if you are new to travelling along with the current safety concerns. Tanzania is nice with Mount Kilimanjaro, Zanzibar beaches, and the Ngorongoro Crater. Cape Town has both beautiful scenery and things to do like Robben Island, Table Mountain, and the Cape of Good Hope. Hostels are pretty cheap.

Caveat – You have to be on high alert walking around the city. There’s a lot of crime. Don’t go out after dark.

 

      Beijing – There is a lot to see in Beijing (the Great Wall of China, the Forbidden City, Tianamen Square). Flight costs can be reasonable. Visa requirements have been relaxed for US citizens if you only want to spend a couple days here en route to somewhere else. Hotels are cheap along with eating out.

Caveat – The language barrier can be huge. You will need to bring the Chinese version of the names of your hotels to provide to taxi drivers. If you can reserve an English speaking driver in advance, it will be a huge benefit. Costs for that service are surprisingly cheap. 

 

 

 

What we can learn from Chris Colabello

         One of the most interesting stories of April has been the rise of baseball player Chris Colabello. Most of my readers are probably wondering "Who is Chris Colabello?" His name isn't very well known even among many baseball die-hards, but his story is fascinating. 

        In 2011, Colabello was a 28 year old first baseman playing for the Worcester Tornadoes of an independent baseball league where he had played the last 7 seasons. Before that, he played baseball for a small college and then went undrafted by major league baseball. For most people, that would have been the end of a dream.  

         Very few college athletes make it to the professional level, so when the best opportunity for playing ends (aka they run out of eligibility), they move on to trying to find a career path using their education and degree. The alternative for a baseball player is to play for a team like the Tornadoes for a meager $750/month as a rookie and hope they get noticed by higher paying leagues i.e. the major leagues where the minimum salary is $500k/year.

         Colabello had a different mindset than most college graduates who run out of eligibility and don't get drafted. When asked why he continued to play for a living, his answer was that he always believed deep down that he was good enough to play in the major leagues if he continued to develop his skills. 

         Whether a person foregoes other career or life opportunities to chase a dream really depends on the answer to this one question: Do you believe deep down in your heart and soul that you can achieve it? If the answer is no, then you may as well move on now or concede that just reaching your potential or coming close is enough to warrant the effort.

          The not so fun part of dream chasing is knowing when to hang up your cleats.  Colabello had three stipulations for continuing to play baseball: 1) He was still having fun, 2) he was able to endure financially and physically, and 3) he continued to improve. He would have walked away if one of three stipulations wasn't met. Whether the chosen discipline is a stress relief or a stress inducer would be my threshold question. Vince Lombardi believed that you have to appreciate the grind to succeed: 

          Fortunately for Colabello, the Minnesota Twins didn't have enough first baseman in their minor league system and were desperate for help back in 2012 when they signed him. Normally, teams don't look for 28 year olds to develop in their minor league system, but the Twins were short handed on their AA team and besides he was the MVP of the independent league he was playing in.

         Colabello finally got his shot to develop under a major league team! He applied the same work ethic and attitude that got him to this point and made the decision by Twins management to promote him really easy when he tore up the minors. As with all real life stories, he faced adversity along the way. As a major league rookie, he struggled to adjust to the majors despite having gaudy minor league statistics.  

         Fast forward to spring training 2014 when it wasn't 100% certain that Colabello would make the team. In fact, he was offered the chance to double his salary to play for a South Korean team in a straight up trade for cash. Citing his dream to play in the major leagues, Colabello declined the doubled salary. Expectations were still really low for how his season would go based on last year's struggles, but injuries derailed the player that he was competing with for playing time at first base in the first couple days of the season.

 

         Given the chance to play every day since the beginning of the season, Colabello just broke Hall of Famer Kirby Puckett's team record for RBI in a single month! What's interesting about this story is not that the team record got broken, but it was accomplished by a player that no other team wanted just 3 years ago. It goes to show that if you believe in yourself and dream, continue to work to improve, and market yourself anything can happen against all odds.   

         Unrelated to Colabello's story, I should mention and give kudos to my cousin, Garrett Crain, who plays second base for TCU. He was recently named the co-Big 12 player of the week. I haven't seen him since he was about a foot shorter than he is now, but he has worked hard his whole life to develop the skills that are now paying dividends. Good luck to him going forward!

Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff…and it’s all Small Stuff

       The title of my blog is actually the title of a book that I haven't read. However, that won't stop me from analyzing the quote and providing my commentary. The basic premise of the book purportedly is that we all get worked up over stuff that doesn't matter one iota in the grand scheme of things. We amplify and blow things out of proportion for no reason at all. I completely agree that we all do this on some level or another.

       As I've mentioned in a past post, there are a lot of things that can happen that are mostly out of our control no matter what life course we choose. It's impossible to avoid the impact of other people's decision making on our lives even if you were to live and work in mostly solitude. Unforeseeable events happen to everybody! 

      A lot of people even paint the walls with speculation all day long about what other people think of them with or without cause or provocation. Even if others don't think highly of us, does it really matter? They win if we let it affect us.   

       Almost everybody commutes to work and are subjected to other people's inept or careless driving. We get to choose how we react to our endangerment even though we know nothing of the bad driver's intent. It's possible that they are from another country or are merely learning to drive.

        An example in my life is traveling around by taxi as a primary means of transportation. The taxi driver might be dishonest, take you to the wrong location, and/or try to get you to buy his associate's souvenirs on the way to your destination. All of these things are frustrating, but they don't have to have an impact on my day or trip overall. How we react to what happens to us is completely in our control.

          One of the advantages to aging is gaining perspective. As a young teenager, everything in life that went wrong seemed unfair, personal, and life altering. Failing a test, losing a race, getting injured, getting critiqued for something you think you are good at, getting fired from that stellar entry level job at Little Caesar's pizza, or even breaking up seem like genuine life altering hardships. Despite the emotional roller coaster of the teenage years, the majority of what happened back then had zero impact on how my life would evolve 10-20 years later. As you gain maturity, you learn that life moves forward even when things don't go your way.

         The truth is most things that happen in life is small stuff even the seemingly big stuff. There is little reason to get worked up over very insignificant daily events. Most things are small potatoes in the grand scheme of things.

   

         Do things happen that can change your life trajectory and course? Absolutely! Not everything in life is small potatoes. We have to make major life decisions every so often that alters your course dramatically. It's also possible that you make a serious error in judgment and that wreaks havoc on your freedom. I listed a bunch of events that can become game changers for a lot of people last year in this post. To list a few big potato things: 1) being chronically unhealthy, 2) losing someone to death, 3) being in a bad marriage/getting divorced, 4) not being successful at something you try hard to succeed at, or 5) going to jail. There are probably quite a few more I could have listed.

         Many other things I didn't list are temporary valleys of life that are for our greater good. Some adversity may seem like a never ending valley of life, but we eventually pull through and appreciate life at a higher level for enduring the adversity. We won't be able to see our growth until we look at our hardships in the rear view mirror.

         In summary, most stuff in life that we get worked up over is small and not worth wasting emotional energy on. We should try and recognize the small stuff to react accordingly. In contrast, we may run into a few big things that will require emotional energy to endure successfully. Life will be much more enjoyable if we worry only about the big game changer events.

Why cooking is a good life analogy

         As with most teenagers, one of my first life lessons of being away from home at age 18 was learning how to cook. I would either learn to cook or starve! 

        Naturally, I was drawn first to cooking desserts since they were sweet empty calories. One of my first attempts at this was making doughnuts via canned biscuits fried in oil. Since I was a novice at cooking and 100% brilliant, I tried to expedite the process and put the stove on maximum heat to make the doughnuts fry faster. Using this method, the vegetable oil came to a boil hard and fast. Next, I started throwing in the biscuit dough one by one. As the oil heat escalated, the entire house got really smoky, the oil started to splatter everywhere, and the smoke alarm went off.

         At the exact moment the smoke alarm started to sound, a girl from the apartment complex stopped by to visit. About 10 seconds after she stopped by after witnessing the chaos, she excused herself and took a U-turn. It was a smart move on her part, because the final outcome of waiting an hour for the smoke to clear was the doughnuts were very well done on the outside, but not cooked at all on the inside. In theory, the doughnuts should have looked like this:

      What I got instead was not edible resemblances to that. However, I learned 3 principles to becoming a better cook with many more life applications: 

 

1) Following directions is a good skill to learn - This principle applies to much more than cooking. If you want to get good grades and do well in your career, learn what is expected of you (I can't emphasize this enough) and then meet or exceed those expectations. It took me a long time to learn that just spending the time to understand what your professor/boss wants will allow you to do A+ work. When I spend a lot time and energy doing things that the professor or boss doesn't value, it leads to bad results and evaluations.

         I must admit that I could have used the above book in my teens and twenties. It's better to learn from those who have gone before than trying to reinvent a wheel that will probably end up crooked. The difference between success and failure often hinges on one small detail in the instructions. Skip a step and you might not like the outcome.

 

2) Be willing to go through trial and error - We aren't usually good at what we try the first time. This was especially true with me and cooking. Even though I consider myself only an adequate cook today, my level of expertise has increased a hundred fold from when I started. I could even make those doughnuts todays without incident (most likely).

         Even the brightest people in the world failed before succeeded. Madame Marie Curie, who won two Nobel prizes, tried to isolate radium from a low-grade uranium to fight against tumors. She only succeeded after hundreds of failed experiments. Thomas Edison was also well known for many failed experiments, but is better known for his few incredible successes.

          Even if we aren't as brilliant as Edison or Curie, it doesn't mean we can't try and fail. We don't need to be a superstar from day one. Most superstars in most fields have a past full of failures that they leveraged into future success. I like the mindset of Edison on this one:

 

3) Be willing to gain experience in what you aren't good at - I was a terrible cook when I had no experience just like everybody else. The people who become great cooks gain experience and learn until they have a lot of dishes mastered.  

        Although Simon Cowell isn't a particularly good role model, he is a good example of what ambition will do for you. He worked in the mail room of a company he wanted to work for and then worked his way up the corporate ladder. Later, after he tried to start his own company and took on too much debt, he had to move back home with his parents at age 30. Of course, he stuck with his path and eventually ended up at the very top of his industry.

        Even Hall of Fame quarterback Steve Young wasn't a great passer coming out of high school. Here's an interesting quote by him: "I don't think we ever practiced throwing the ball in high school. We passed only under duress. I was embarrassed to throw in public..." He was the 8th string quarterback his first season at BYU and was asked to move to safety by the head coach. Fortunately, he didn't see the lack of passing experience as an 18 year old as the final outcome of his career.

 

         Although I didn't realize it at the time I was botching my doughnuts, I was actually learning by trial and error that instructions matter. Through a lot of subsequent life experience, those lessons would become invaluable to other aspects of my life. That's the reward of trying.



  

4 Tips to Moving Forward in 2014

         The greatest part about starting a new year is that you can psychologically start over on things you failed to make a priority in the previous year. Committing to be a better person tomorrow, next week, and next year isn't enough. You will need to assess where you stand currently, where you are going in life, and what are the areas you would like to exert effort to improve in. Here are my 4 tips to moving forward in 2014.

         

Tip 1: Leave the past behind – There is no doubt that you made mistakes in 2013 and in the years before that. We all make mistakes both big and small. We can sit around and paint the walls with speculation all day long to try and change history, but it won’t do us any good! The constructive way to deal with the past is to understand the lesson you learned to avoid repeating it and then move on. It’s impossible to succeed if you can’t psychologically forgive yourself of your past mistakes and move forward in life.

           You can’t relive a golden opportunity like buying Apple stock 15 years ago when somebody suggested it or getting a redo in the high school state football championship that would have assured your future in the NFL. You simply can’t redo your life trajectory from any point in the past without a time machine. Here’s looking at you Uncle Rico.

         You can only change your life trajectory from today forward. If there are obstacles that are hindering you from progressing, then work on those first (ex: finances, injuries, health, psychological issues, etc.) Good things come to those who persevere. You might not reach your goals in the perfect time frame, but you will eventually.

         Even if it appears that some of your peers have more to offer or have more innate gifts than you, you need to move forward in life with the hand that you’ve been dealt. You have a choice about whether to waste away years of your life complaining and making excuses about your childhood, your genetics, your family, your life circumstances or you can accept the gifts and talents that you have received and do your best to make progress in those priorities most important to you.

Tip 2: Defriend the monster inside of your head – You may be thinking of a certain #1 hit song who befriended a monster under her bed as my second tip. I disagree with her advice to get along with the voices inside of your head specifically the one belonging to the monster. Sure it’s possible that the monster looks like this:

         Most likely, the monster isn't as friendly as the picture indicates. There truly is a voice inside each of our heads that spews negativity sometimes. The great thing about being human is the monster has zero power over us, because we hold the power to veto anything he suggests. The monster doesn't force us to quit trying or to make bad decisions to hinder our progression. Those things were merely his suggestion.  

Tip 3: Plan ahead – To get somewhere in life, we need to lay the ground work to get there first. Stephen Covey says in his book 7 Habits  of Highly Effective People to  "Begin with the end in mind." People don't usually end up accomplishing big things by accident. Where do you want to be next year? in 5 years? 10 years? 30 years? Successful people spend countless hours creating the life that they envisioned for themselves brick by brick. As we work towards retirement or other long-term goals, remember that there are usually hundreds of little decisions that add up to favorable or unfavorable long-term life circumstances.

 

Tip 4: Go all in! – As legend has it, in 1519 Cortez set sail from Spain to Mexico with 11 ships and 600 men with the mission to conquer the Aztecs and claim all the treasure in the land. As soon as he arrived, he wanted to make sure that his men were fully committed to achieving his objective and ordered that the 11 ships be burned. Cortez changed the paradigm dramatically because he didn't leave room to fail! If his crew was fearful or having doubts, they didn’t have the option of retreating back to their ships. It was either conquer the Aztecs or die trying! This all or nothing approach obviously worked.

 

 

 

 

         The key principle that we can learn from this story, whether it’s true or not, is that a half-hearted approach to accomplishing any endeavor is much less likely to succeed than if you are 100% committed to being the best that you can. You have to decide you want it and then go for it with gusto! This may mean quitting the job you hate, going back to school, or simply making your goal a top priority and not being afraid to take risks. Most importantly, don't just "coast along" hoping that someday your minimal effort will pay off. Talent isn't enough to accomplish anything noteworthy.

 

Conclusion: 2014 is a second chance for each of us to assess where we are in life and where our trajectory is likely headed. Take the new year to strategically move forward with your life by learning from the past, living in the present, and preparing for the future. There are good things to come in the future for those who are not short-sighted in their approach to life decisions.